oh my god! so much happened today, well i talked to my ana buddy and we were both gonna purge after eating but she chickened out so i didn't see much point in doing it because i didn't eat that much or feel that sad.
Then i talked to my dad, he can get me to open up my feelings, when even i didn't know i was feeling that way, i didn't tell him about my ED cause i don't wanna hurt him, then i found out that my grandma is in the hospital with pneumonia for the second time this year.
I went to the bathroom after my dad made me eat some scones and drink ovaltine. Tastes gross, so i tried to purge but i couldn't i was so close until my dad knocked on the door and i realised he could hear me chocking on my toothbrush, even over the water on. So i will purge, but when im home alone, if i ever am.
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