I Feel Like Cutting! And Binging and Purging!

Hey everyone,
so I'm really sorry I haven't kept my word in blogging everyday school starts next weeks so I'm not sure I will be able to post one a day then either =/
To make it up to y'all I'm gonna post two blogs tonight =]

Ok so since I haven't fasted or been starving myself for quite a while now, I'd say a week or two, which is long for me. I've been having really weird thoughts about binging and purging and cutting. I think about it everyday, I really wanna start it again, which I know is not good. I mean I cut myself 3 weeks ago and it took 2 weeks for the cuts to heal so that you couldn't see them. I have to show my arms in school 3 times a week! Monday's for pe, wednesday's for woodwork and fridays for cookery so it's reallly easy for people to notice, also, in a week I start pe on thursdays which makes things yet again harder, i prefer to cut my wrists wayyy more than anywhere else! Anyways, yeah I'm not looking forward to going back to school on tuesday the 4th!

Pretty much everyday is a constant battle in my head to not go into my en suite bathroom which I feel is constantly taunting me, I want to go into the bathroom and cut my trouble's away, I mean even now I'm super tempted to go to tesco's buy a bunch of binge food and then purge it in the toilet of my ensuite! Believe me when you're trying to stop, having an ensuite makes it all the more difficult because you have easy access staring you right in the face!!!

So I know this is kinda short but I promise to do my second blog post today and it's about NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS!!
If I take a few hours to post the blog it's probably because I've gone to Tesco's and binged and purged, which I'm sper tempted to do right now...

OK Anyways...

Much Love, Sophie xoxo

1st Feb 2010

Hi im Sophie and this is really just me introducing myself and what my blog is going to be all about.
I am struggling with anorexia, although i have not been medically diagnosed, because, well i haven't told anyone about it.
I am only 13, but I already have lots of goals in life and they are being crushed along with my future in new zealand which i will hopefully be moving to later this year with my father and brother.
My life has always been full of depression:
-my mum died when i was 5
-my family think my dad is an incapable father and i fear they will go mad with rage when we tell them were moving (which as u can probably guess we haven't done just yet :) )
-i have moved classes lots of times for several reasons
-i had an abusive friend
-and i think i am becoming or already am anorexic

i'll save you the rest of my depression as even i find it boring, i am charmed that you have found my blog interesting enough to read and hopefully continue to, and i promise they will get better :)

i promise to upload every day and hopefully i can have some followers to make friends with :)
sophie xoxoxxoo