I HATE MY LIFE

So I'm sorry I haven't updated much, I will totally get back to doing once a day update's now.

OMG I really HATE christmas, like hate with a passion! I used to love it but once my mother died when I was five we always spent christmas at other people's houses or on holiday's to escape the stupid tradition. But this year since we moved here we haven't been able to go on holiday so were forced to face christmas. It's christmas eve now and my dad has succeeded at destroying the so called "happiness" of christmas.

He hasn't even got any christmas decorations, and it's christmas eve! Were probably the only house without a christmas tree and the only house with no presents, I'm literally crying while I'm writing this. What I want for christmas is to be a part of a different family, one that is happy and far, far away from this one. I know that sounds like all the movies and then the person realizes how much they miss their old life, well that wouldn't happen. I hate my life so much.

My brother this year is of course getting his £40 ps3 game, I however am getting a pair of earrings I didn't ask for and didn't want. I had a specific list that he didn't follow, I mean he could have at least just given me some money to go towards the thing I wanted. But no, he had to bee a fucking dick head and make me be so depressed I end up cutting myself on christmas eve!

I wish I had a family where I had 3 older brothers who were fun and protective of me or a twin sister who I did everything with and would be my best friend and parents who were still together.

Honestly, I'm not trying to put anyone down because believe me I wish I could celebrate christmas like you probably can but I have nothing to celebrate in my life.
Please pray for me so that tomorrow morning I wake up in some other life where I'm actually happy. Oh and no I'm not just depressed because of the eating disorder, of course that makes it worse but I've always hated how my family is and I've always been jealous of others' families. Ever since my mum died. My family's soul died with her.

PLEASE COMMENT ME TELLING ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT :)

xoxo Sophie